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A colleague approaches you and asks you for a favor. And suddenly, she says excitedly, “Yes!” While inside you are screaming: No, no, no! of course not!”
We’ve all been there. When we’re constantly told that we need to be helpful team players, it can be difficult to know how to politely decline anything.
But learning to say “no” is essential to your success (not to mention your sanity). That’s why it’s important to learn to say that little word now and then, and how to do it.
Why do you need to say “no”
If we list all the reasons you need to learn to say no to things, we can create a list that would span the world twice. However, if you look at what all of these benefits have in common, there are two themes:
1. You need to leave time for your “yes”
Picture this: You’ve filled your agenda with things you half-heartedly agreed to. Then something better comes along, something that gets you excited about your career path again.
You jump out of your seat to take this opportunity. But there’s one big problem: You don’t have the time because you’ve filled your plate with the other things you want. could He said “no” to.
Remember this: if you don’t learn to say “no,” you won’t leave yourself enough time to say “yes!”
2. You don’t just want to be loved, you want to be respected
Great to be such an agreeable and collaborative team player. But you also want to be respected, and that will require you to put your feet up every now and then.
How to say “no” (with all due respect, of course)
1. Be generous
Being denied a request is inconvenient, no matter how small or large the request. However, you can soften the blow by beginning the refusal with a polite “thank you.”
Try something like, “I appreciate you thinking of me, but my plate is a little full right now,” or “Thank you so much for inviting me, but I have other plans.” Starting with something friendly and positive will make the exchange less difficult.
You can also be generous in the form of offering an alternative solution. This may include suggesting another colleague who can help or save you time when you can He was be able to take this a favor on. Doing so will reaffirm your willingness to help, even if you can’t personally say “yes” to the request.
2. Use assertive language
If giving a hard pass makes you uncomfortable, it can be tempting to get around the issue with vague phrases like, “I’ll think about it” or “Let me get back to you.” But this approach will not do anyone any favors.
Instead, give a firm answer. one study He even suggests that you use the word “no” instead of “I can’t.” For example, try saying, “I don’t have time to do this,” instead of, “I can’t do that right now.” This is an answer that you — and that other person — will take seriously.
3. Resist apologizing
Saying “no” may seem counterintuitive, but it’s important to resist the urge to apologize. Don’t start your refusal with something like, “I’m sorry, but…” because that will leave the door open for you to talk (or worse, feel guilty) to complete the request.
If you need to preface your refusal with something, use the polite “thank you” strategy mentioned above.
4. Keep it professional
Any time you communicate in the office, do so in a professional and respectful manner.
This means that you don’t fly off the handle, lose your temper, burst into tears, or – most importantly – lie. In the end, it will only come back to bite you.
Saying “no” can be difficult. However, it is an important skill. Remember this tip the next time you need to decline, and you’ll decline requests in a way that doesn’t damage your professional reputation (or end in a screaming match).
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