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Dear Bunch,
I work on a team that includes many scientists and engineers, but I’m not a STEM employee. I’m in the front office mostly outsourcing. Most of my male colleagues on the engineering side are relatively respectful of my work, but I find that I get a lot of opposition from women in the hard sciences. Since I’ve been in the front office, I’m not new to difficult characters or trauma, but lately it’s become unbearable. One woman took it upon herself to tell me I was wrong every time I spoke. She told me that I don’t understand her role and the work the company does, even though I am part of the outer face of the company. She’s so focused on the tiny details that she creates problems when we’re trying to close a deal. I made her such a problem that she wiggled her way into my outdoor meetings.
I usually welcome the help and participation of my colleagues in business development meetings, but she is not very good at them and believes that she excels at them. In a meeting, she interrupted me several times and directly contradicted me in front of a client. I’m much older, but since she has such a hard science background, she thinks it’s okay to ignore me. She says she single-handedly closed some of our biggest deals, but only those in the room know that’s not true – and not only that, but she almost cost us those deals. However, she has the ear of her boss, and she constantly abuses me and my ability to do my job. I’m ready to leave. please help.
I’m not a scientist, but I excel at my job
Dear, I am not a scientist, but I excel at my job.
There’s no such thing as a colleague who has no experience in your role thinking they could do your job, right? I find it’s a common experience for those in front office positions – marketing, business development, sales and public relations. Everyone thinks they can do those jobs (and sometimes I think with the invention of Google and ChatGPT, everyone thinks they can do any job).
It takes a deep sense of confidence in your own skill set and specialization to step back and consciously choose to trust and respect the skills and experience of others. It comes with experience and maturity — but even then, frustrations abound.
When someone’s disrespect for your work and expertise goes from being annoying to being direct effect Your work, is no longer a frustration. It is toxic and harmful behaviour.
There are a few reasons why colleagues attack the competence of others. When there are teammates on different teams, it’s for one of two reasons:
Your colleague is insecure.
The first reason is similar to when someone was mean to you in high school and you can’t figure out why: They feel threatened. Colleagues may feel threatened by your competence, fearing that their skills and abilities are overshadowed by yours. They resort to attacking your competence as a way to elevate themselves. In other words: they bully you because they are insecure. It may be subconscious, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem.
In this case, ask yourself what could be triggering your colleague’s behavior. Does she really think you’re bad at her job, or does she think she’s being overlooked for not having external coping abilities? If it’s the former, then you have to make sure it’s not right. If it’s the latter, your best approach is to help her understand that you can be her ally in getting her involved in more outside meetings—but you can’t do that if it’s creating unnecessary friction.
Talk to her about 1) the need to respect each other’s experience as colleagues; 2) though It seems A non-technical job is easy to do, companies wouldn’t need full front office teams if everyone could do the job well; and 3) trusting colleagues allows everyone to work well together, which is what you want to be able to do with her.
Your co-worker lacks accountability.
The second reason is deviation. Colleagues who don’t achieve their goals often blame other colleagues or teams for taking the attention away from them. This behavior is much more intentional than a person born out of insecurity; It’s dangerous depending on how skilled a person is with politics in the workplace.
Ask yourself if this associate and her team excelled at their jobs, or at least achieved their goals. If they don’t, you’re probably looking at a situation where attacking your competency is a way to divert attention from why they aren’t achieving their goals. If her boss supports her, that means he’s next level politically on both sides.
In these cases, no amount of olive branch or building empathy will help. You are dealing with toxic workplace politics and you have to make a decision: do you want to participate in them or not?
In my career, I’ve done both. I got fully involved in workplace politics (I won some, lost some, and realized I hated workplace politics), and I walked away and found a new job. What I will say is: No matter where you go, workplace politics rears its ugly head once things start to get complicated for a person, team, or company. I’ve worked in many industries, different stages of growth and maturity, and on different teams. I haven’t yet found a place where I can completely escape workplace politics, though I deeply dislike it.
If you decide to participate, the first step is to determine your ideal end state. Do you want it outside the company or outside your business? The second step is to understand the players and their motivations. Understanding those involved – both her ally and yours – and identifying the players and their motives will help you understand how to turn the tide. The third step is to pressure a friend out of work to keep your pride and behavior in check. The last thing you want is a business policy shift You to a toxic person, and external checks from friends are a good way to prevent this from happening.
As with any business transaction you make, step back and look at everything with fresh eyes. Decide if this is insecurity or lack of accountability, and then chart your way forward. But in all of that, do your best not to become a copy of yourself This is Sam at work.